The Healthy Chef Vol 2. Issue 5 - Chef Cliff Mosley

“When we first got married, we never spent much time together.”

It was one of the reasons my wife gave as to why she decided to separate.  She was right.  When we got married, I had just accepted a position on a hot line in a busy restaurant.  Gone were the Pastry hours of working AM’s,  In came the Vampire hours of closing. 

As an aspiring young chef, the only way to get recognized was to perform.  And the only way to perform, was to be in the building.  When I wasn’t in one restaurant, I was pulling brunch shifts at our sister restaurant.  55 and 60 hour weeks quickly became the baseline.  I worked when nobody else wanted too.  I worked when everyone else was having fun.  Saturday birthday party? I’ll send you a gift.  Friday night Movie?, Tell me how it was.  Valentine’s day? Maybe we celebrate that on the 17th. 

The industry runs at all hours and can suck you into if you’re not careful.  I’ve closed one day only to be scheduled to open the next.  I've opened and closed on the same day.  I've joked about working “just a half day today,” meaning 12 hours, or “half of the day”. (The Effect of Long Work Hours)

Being a Chef is mentally grueling as well as physically demanding.  It's difficult to shut off at the end of a shift.  Granted I was done at Midnight, but my brain will coast until 2 am.  Easy to see why so many turn to drugs and alcohol to switch things off.   Left unchecked, it can become consuming.

I’ve heard of crews that jest as to who can sacrifice the most.  “I’m missing my brother’s wedding to be here today.” I know chefs that ridicule those that don’t work on Friday evenings “Must be the B crew if you aren’t on Friday nights.”  It’s not just restaurants.  Bakers leave a warm bed and a warm body at 3:11 am to go and make the donuts.  Going salary only made things worse.  Now you get inventory every 2 weeks and staff meetings every week, hope it doesn't land on your “day off”.   Mothers’ Day, Easter, New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s, you name the holiday, I would be working.  My family knew not to even invite me to go camping over a weekend.  Strange, Fathers' Day was never a busy one, after a while, I got to take those off. 

It’s not just what this industry can do to our psyche and our bodies, it's what effects it has on those around us.   In much the same way that being a musician on tour, or being a sports player on the road, being in the kitchen detaches you from home.  The connections that can be made and the friendships that can be forged will be priceless. (Life Hack - Long Hours and Impact on Family)

Finally, I’d had enough.  I left management.  I left the restaurants.  I called a friend in catering and said “I want to work Monday thru Fridays, no weekends.”  And for the first time in fourteen years, I got my wish.   I've stopped burning myself out for the job.  I'm spending more time with family and friends.  I'm living in much more balance, and much more peace.  They say greatness isn’t always about the things you say “yes” too, but the things you say “no” to.  Say “Yes” to yourself.  Live a good life.

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